An earlier reality...emotional pain expressed through my pen...

VICTIM


Where does this scream come from
It is buried so deep and taunts me

Controls me, determines how I’ll be
 Why have I been given a life sentence?

I want to let it go, but how?
It is like a graze on my soul

And sometimes it weeps
It encircles my whole being

Consuming me as silently I bleed
 Distant empty sad

Is this a curse? 
Am I a victim?

Helpless.. nothing seems to work
At least not for long
 
It comes back over and over
Primal force an energy of its own

Like a fire raging through me
Oh God where is my relief?

 I lash out, hurt…. run
Crazy feelings stuck to irrational outbursts

I fear the child in me has been branded
like a cattle beast ready for slaughter

No choice…I am powerless
I can pretend

I’ve done it all my life
Become isolated numb

With the hell untriggered..jammed
May be the only solution

Anger rages at the cause of this wound
So out of reach so turned inward

Someone should pay….
But it is only I who does

It doesn’t matter.. I don’t matter
To any other soul

All caught in their own webs of self-destruction…


  
Di © 1990